Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Resurrection of the evil: Psycho Story of the Year 2011 - Part 2 of 4


Last part ended with Jekalanth - Hosana breakup.

Anakin consoles her and tells her "Jekalanth might be in some tension and so saying like this. You keep your cool and wait, he will come back". But for that she tells "I know him. He was very calm and clear when he told me the thing. Also, we didnt have a good relationship for the past few months. I know he is upset with certain problems. But I never thought he would say like this". Anakin dont know what to tell, he tries to console her.

The next day Anakin asks Robin about Hosana's issue, as Robin and Jekalanth were best friends. He then phones him and asks. Jekalanth felt uncomfortable in telling his decisions to his friends and he tells like they just had a small fight and she is making a big issue out of it. Then Robin and Regal consoles her and tell her not to worry and that Jekalanth may be having some other problems and doing all this because of this. He will be normal soon.

Anakin couldnt resist, his evil part is very vigorous now. It fights with his another self, let things be as it is. Its a perfect opportunity for Vader. Let some time pass and he can propose to her. Lets not do anything to make them together again. But Anakin had hard fights with his Hollow and asks Robin again and again. Robin told that Jekalanth dont like certain things of her that he liked before and she is not listening to him. But when Hosana asks he just says the same without telling exactly what she didnt listen or what he didnt like now.


Clue for destruction

That day, she left castle in half day and Anakin calls her at night to just talk to her. He again tells the same thing that I dont know how, but I feel Jekalanth will come back, he is just saying in tension. In an big 1 hour talk, she told Anakin many things that many things of her past, with which he found she will get SYMPATHY for people easily and even that is one of the reason for start of their love.


Jekalanth's Request

Jekalanth just places one request to her. He tells her not to love anyone and she should marry the person whom her parents decide. I dont want you to get broke again. You should call me daily as before and updates with your activities and problems. You can ask me watever you want and I will stand with you and help you and I will never give up on you till the day you marry someone whom your parents decide. He is very caring and wants to be with her despite his decisions. Though he dont want to marry her, he wants her to be happy and dont want her life ruined by another love. His care for her not even reduced 1%. He still loves her, but for some reason, he dont want to marry her. But for Hosana, She didnt want his protection / care / help / support nor anything. She just want HIM back and nothing else. She refuse to be like as before after hearing all his words.


Cruel weapons of Sympathy

One day he forwarded her a message "People cry not because they are weak, but because they have been strong for too long." Immediately she call him and asks whats his problem is? and she tells that she knows for sure that Anakin is under stress. He is not normal in castle also. Please share it with someone, if not me and to get over it. He said thanks for ur concern but its just a forward. Vader then evolves this simple technique into a more powerful one. He types a message which says that he is worried/suffering and which is as if targetted for his friend and purposely send to her and asking "sorry sent wrongly please ignore". This evolved technique worked brilliantly to make her feel worried about the Darth Vader and thus to make her speak to him. Vader was manipulating her knowing her weekness, Sympathy.

Hosana never was very confidence with herself, she is afraid of many things, worrying very much for even small things. After the breakup, things got even worse. She regretted her whole life, she told Anakin that she is not fit for anything. She cheated her parents a lot for Jekalanth and she regretted all of it. She told her life is a waste. She was highly depressed. It killed Anakin when she speaks low of herself. Even when they discuss about something, it was very easy for Anakin to convince her otherwise. She was not strong in her opinions. During arguments, she easily accept that her points are not right and what others say is right. It all hurt Anakin a lot. This is exactly the behaviour of Anakin's mom. But she is even worse than her mom.

Unlike before, where Anakin and Hosana used to text the problems / solutions, teaching most of the time, Anakin took it to next level. He stopped texting and call up her often. Before their breakup, she will take 1 week to solve a 1 day task saying some reason (had some other work, slept, washing clothes, etc). But after their breakup, she felt completely void with her life and Anakin helped her to convert all her negative energy into a positive constructive flow. In 2 weeks after their breakup, she spent all the time in her hostel crazily solving problems / puzzles / programs given by Anakin. She was showing super good process unexpected by Anakin. Anakin half of the time want to be a good friend of her and half the time want her to be his life partner. He couldnt decide, It was too hard for him to pick up any side. But her interest in programs and unexpected progress just made Anakin go for the obvious choice.

After their breakup, Vader got much comfortable. Before there will be heavy wars going on in Anakin's mind between the good and evil. But now the evil part progressed a little more and tells him that to carry on with his teachings without any guiltiness as before as she is single again now. After a few days, Anakin felt much guilty as he is only one who used to call her often to make her feel better. So he tells all the team people to speak to her and to make her feel better. But no one did that except for Saalesh, who even dont know about all this problems till Anakin said to him.

Who is right?

Jekalanth used to call her and order her to update about her daily activities as before and they can continue to love each other till her parents pick a bribe for her, after which he will leave from her life. Its because he is one who took her to Skyrim and so he want her to be safe and sound and watch over her, care for her. But all she wanted is his LOVE and to have a life with him and not a temporary care/help till she marry some one else. Even Anakin dont know who is right, though he dont speak with Jekalanth he could understood very well his point of view, but he also understand her point of view. Both are right. She cant accept his care knowing he is not for her.

She fought with him over it and both of them never understood each other. Jekalanth keeps telling the same for few days and she keeps telling the same. After some few days, Jekalanth called her and she never picked up, knowing he will come up with same issue. Jekalanth called Robin and tells him to give the phone to her. But she told I dont want to speak. At evening, Anakin called her and the mobile was switched off. Anakin could understood that she switched it off to avoid Jekalanth. On the other side, Jekalanth has been calling her the whole night trying to speak to her. But the mobile remained off.


Partial revelation

Days passed. Whenever she was sad and miss Jekalanth, it hurted Anakin a lot. But Darth Vader was very much happy and looking for the right opportunity, to propose her. Sometimes, when Anakin consoles her saying dont worry, time will heal everything. It might pain much now, but let the time pass, all your wounds will be healed and you will feel alive even without Jekalanth. For which, she said one day, "Anakin you dont know about love. Its my life and I lost it and its paining now. I dont think it will ever heal and I dont know how I am going to live with this pain forever. As you said, I will definitely improve myself in work and will help others. But this pain is killing me. She cant live without him. For this Darth Vader puts another twist in the story. He said 'you know I am not normal these days. right? Even you asked me several times and I just said there is nothing. Actually the real thing is I also loved a girl and there were many problems, just because of me. She did nothing. I still did and doing many evil things. But trust me, I know Love and its pain and I assure you it will heal. Just give some time. Try to focus on something else, Those thoughts will definitely come to you mind. You cant avoid it, but try to focus urself on something else those time. Never be alone, always speak with ur friends and keep ur mind occupied. If you are alone, you will fall into the loneliness again. and many such things'.

Anakin decided one day that he should stop the evil in him, by saying that he is evil to her and to stop speaking to her. But he dont have courage to admit all his evil deeds. Because he cant see Darth Vader as a separate person. Anakin and Darth Vader are one and the same. He phoned her one day and says a maked up story, "Hosana, I told I loved a girl right? Let me tell that story. Actually she is a good friend of mine since college 1st year. We were so close that we share almost everything. She and another friend of mine from another department was loving each other from first year. I always thought of her as a good friend. But now-a-days, I am having a different feel for her. I cant resist texting/speaking to her. Usually, she will tell me all her problems and I will try to help her. But before, I cared for her and when she is in any problem, it hurt me a little. But now, when she is in any problem, its paining me very much. I can feel her pain and cant tolerate it. But she is loving some other person who is also my friend. She never would have thought of me thinking like this. I know I should stop myself from this and somehow get rid of this feeling and be a good friend to her. But I dont know how. I want her to be with me throughout my life. I want her to be mine. Sometimes I used to think that I should leave her. But sometimes the other way".

Anakin tried to tell that "Sometimes I used to sit and plan how to make trouble in their love and breakup them, so that he can propose her". But Darth Vader didnt allow him to tell it. Overall, Darth Vader had upper hand and told like, "I am doing something wrong, but I am feeling very bad for it and I need to come out somehow and I have no one to share all this. If its a good thing, I will tell to everyone, But since its pure evil, I cant even tell to anyone. I dont know why I am telling all this to you. I trust you." The Orc(Anakin or Darth Vader) was very emotional, but Anakin would have very much controlled his emotions, but Darth Vader let it out and cried over phone. Hosana was very much worried on hearing Anakin cry. She started advicing Anakin, "Anakin, pls stop crying, Its hard for me to hear u crying. Its human nature that we do mistake. But the thing is we must realize the mistake and feel sorry for it. You did both and only thing is you just come out of it as soon as possible. I believe you anakin. You will come out it. Dont worry about it, It happens. Its natural and I have nothing to say to you. You urself know what to do, Just come out of it." Also she continued your friend is the one who is unlucky for she is loving someone else and missed you. It was very touching for Anakin to hear such kind words from her and the fact that she cares and worries for him even after hearing all the crap. Anakin could feel his mom's care from her.


Pure evilness:

Things went fine outside. But this incident caused Darth Vader inside to do the evilest of the evil thing. Darth Vader got another brand new weapon in his Arsenal: 'Crying' which brings her close together. If its a sad message he cant send anytime, but he cant cry artificially. So he goes to the greaybeards named 'Google' who has all the knowledge of world and asks how to do fake cries. There is no official working idea, but he got some cool titbits here and there. He practiced alone in his home, but couldnt get it working. He tried a lot, but all he could do is laugh alone like a psycho.

From the start, as and when Darth Vader do employ such evil tactics to speak with her, Anakin used to punish himself trying to maintain the balance of good/evil in him. But again Darth Vader started telling that he punishes himself for all the evil deeds he do and creates more sympathy in her heart for him.
One fine day, Darth Vader calls her up and tells, "Hosana I dont know what to do. I want her. I cant live without her. But I cant tell her. I cant even share my feeling with anyone, except you. I trust you in this. I know you wont scold me. But you please do that, if you want. I deserve that. But I trust you that you wont tell anyone about the evil in me. I feel very bad of myself. I hate this life. I just wanted to life a good, honest life and these feelings/emotions are driving me the opposite way." Darth Vader not only speaks, but also executes some actions/thoughts in his head and as expected he cried (an absolute artificial intended fake cry, that looked/sounded real).

She was very much worried about him now. Once she told that Anakin is brave, courage, good, have strong will power, can do anything he wants and he is as god. So only she started taking him as role model. He never feels bad for anything, he is very optimistic, taking the good and learning something from even the worst situations. Thats how he was before when he entered her life. But now Anakin feels bad of himself / hates himself, cant think properly, cant decide clearly, so much confused, afraid. She dont know what to do. She started consoling him and tells him not to worry and that Anakin would get a geek girl who watches Animes, plays games, goes on adventure, could simply explain relativity theory, loves science fiction (his dream girl). Anakin wakes up suddenly, putting Darth Vader under control and says "Sorry Hosana, I am disturbing you a lot. Dont ever trust me, nor trust anyone. Everyone has a evil inside. I am very much fine. I know I will get rid of my feelings for her asap. and will be a good friend to her. Sorry for all the mess I made now. Please forget whatever I told and forgive me" in a very strong voice and cut the call. She just texts, "Thats my anakin, the one who spoke in the end. Dont worry, You can share everything to me, when you feel upset. I assure you I wont discuss ur personal things with anyone. Take Care. Be old Anakin soon."

Anakin used to text her often, "I became pure evil these days and you please stay away from me". For which she replies, "of course you do something wrong, but you are not god. Its nature that humans do mistake. But you feeling very worst bad of urself when compared to the mistake you do. You are not pure evil. I would still say you are like god. People do mistake, forgive themselves and move on. But you keep punishing urself and torturing yourself. But if you see, you did absolutely nothing. Yes you have unwanted thoughts in your mind, but you never did propose her right. Then whats wrong in it. As a friend she cared for you, since she is already committed, she didnt get any feeling for you. But in your case, you dont love anyone and her care/friendship made you feel in this way. If she was single, she would definitely would have had the same feel for you. Please understand, you have only bad thoughts, but you never executed anything. Still you respect her friendship and their love. You are not evil. You are good, better than most people. I am very proud of you, Anakin and I feel great to be your friend."
Its obvious that Darth Vader simply brain washed her to the point, where he could simply call her up anytime and tells her all the evil things he did (only partially) and hearing the partial things she will support him and call him good, despite scolding him.


Hosana's confusion

In between she also shares her problems of Jekalanth that. Her major problem being she doesnt know why he left her. He didnt give any solid reasons, all he said is "you are speaking too much, asking so many questions, not agreeing to my decisions, you always asks question. You changed a lot. And also, I loved certain characteristics of yours in college. But now I hate you for the same". The same reasons he told his friend Robin.

On another perspective whatever Jekalanth complained directly transalted to what Anakin taught her. "Ask questions. Dont agree with what people say, unless you feel its right. Argue with them till they understand your point or they understand yours. Or you both understand each other that from ur point of view, what u say is right and from other's point of view, what he/she says is right". She appied what ever Anakin incepted her with Jekalanth and thats one reason he left her, in Anakin's opinion.


Legendary Hero

Anakin spent 2 full days motivating himself to be true, pushing his inner mind to kill the evil, Went to trance state where he believed himself to be a legendry hero in a fantasy world who rarely does bad things but admit it, ask sorry without hesitation and moves on and he believed he got enough strength. After all this self brain washing, he calls her one fine evening. Calm and steady Anakin tells "Hosana. Dont interrupt and hear me. You still dont know the real me. You think I told you everything. Its all a drama. I want to live a good, honest life. But I was driven away from that path by myself by a lot of miles. Atleast now I need to change. Its regarding my friend issue. I know I should leave her and be a good friend, I decided and not spoke to her for last one week. Please understand this important point: Once I never thought even in my wildest dreams that I will love her. But it happened and I am the one who paid heavy price for it. It pains even now. I know I need to overcome this. I know time will heal me. But now I am afraid that this shouldnt happen again. For that I decided to move away from all my friends of opposite gender for a while. Atleast, till I became the good old Anakin. I am not telling this is the end of our friendship, but I request that I need a pause, probably a long one. You please carry on your own". After hearing all this she told "Dont worry Anakin, I could completely understand you. But dont think you are evil. The feelings you got are very natural and you are in good control of it. I believe in you, there is no drama Anakin. Its just you are worrying too much, putting too much pressure in ur small brain, thinking you are bad, when you are not. But you are my best friend, you should never go out of my life completely. You please come out of all this, be old Anakin and then tell me. You already defined me a path, Now I think I could go on it without anyone's help. Take care".

Mission very well accomplished. After cutting the call, few seconds passed, full of feelings that cant be explained. Sense of achievement, proud, satisfaction with life, happy, but also loneliness, pure voidness, heavy heart, missing feeling, sad to the extreme. Felt both the extremes at same time. Whats happening to me? Am I good or bad? Whats my purpose? Is there any god who is watching over all this? If yes, whats his plan with me?