Sunday, December 8, 2013

A Lonely Masturbator - Genesis - Part 1

For other posts in the series, visit here.

Gaming vs Browsing

I was studying 7th Standard (probably in the year 2001). Yuvaraj, Makesh and myself used to go to nearby Computer Center (VKGB Internet) to play Video games (most of the time, Doom). We used to give money to the cafe owner for an hour and say "game". He will make us sit in a system and there will be game icons in Desktop. Clicking on them open up the game. Those times, we had no idea on what Desktop, Icon and My Computer are.
I still remember my friend Karthik who opened up "My Computer" accidentally and found 3.5 Floppy drive in it and told me. I was so curious to explore it, but didnt have guts to open it myself for some time.
But there comes few people who pay more or less the same money and say "Browsing". Then both the customer and owner puts up a weird smile in their faces. The owner makes them sit in a system, just like he do with us, except he closes the curtain behind them. By that time, I was little curious on what "Browsing" is about, but the moment I enter into the Centre, my mind get sooo filled with Doom, that I forget everything else.

But after some time, I remember one Sunday, when I went there alone and asked the Cafe owner, what "Browsing" is about. Is it even more gory, action game or what? He smiled at me and told that I will get to know about it later and for now, to continue with games. Little disappointed, I came back.



Tales of Online Nudity

Back in school, few of my friends started telling tales of completely NUDE girls that they see in Computer Centers. As time passes, "FEW" turned to "MOST". Most of my friends had at least one experience with this online things. Few shared it openly and few hide it, for they felt shame and feel it as a sin.

I was much curious on this. I wanted to see nude girls myself (and their funny naughty activities that my friends describe), atleast just once, but some how, I know ITS A SIN and I refrained from it. I even controlled myself from hearing the tales that my friends tell. Some even forced me to hear things, but I did my level best to be away from these sinful things and be good (in my early perspective).

Even my neighborhood friends started telling similar stories. But as a good boy, I always advised them not to see these wrong things in Internet, for it is SIN to do so.

But all this hype created by my friends, indirectly answered me one thing. What "browsing" in VKGB is all about !!!

My thoughts on SEX

I was a big religious, god-believing boy at those times (My recent friends might not believe it. But that is how I was in my child hood) and I clearly know by my heart that SEX IS SIN. I didnt even had guts to spell the word S. E. X at those times.

But as a enthusiastic kid, I try to learn and gain knowledge on all things starting from God, Earth, Universe, Stars, Sky, to Sex. Those times, I even had a wonderful model of earth, which is both Spherical and Flat, when my idea of UP/DOWN is screwed by my excellent (get mark, no knowledge) Education system.
Believe me or not, I havn't had much thoughts on Sex those times. But I always wondered on the "First Night", "How babies are formed?". Every time, I see the following sequence in any movie:
A girl takes a glass (or Sombu) of milk and enters a room with a nice bed decorated with flowers, and our Hero waiting inside. Nice music starts, "nam thana, nam thana,... ". But suddenly, either the light goes off, or either they shut the door.
I was like "WHAT THE FUCK !!! What do they do after that?". It remained a BIG SUSPENSE for long years. But just like my spherical flat Earth model, I had a theory of what they will be doing in First Night, which evolved bit by bit, until I got to know the real picture, several years later.

  1. Theory 1: The couple will kiss the whole night and the girl will get baby after 10 months from her Stomach (probably by cutting through operation)
  2. Theory 2: They also hug each other tightly and the girl will get baby after 10 months.
  3. Theory 3: They probably, get off their clothes, hug tightly and kiss. (Though this is hard for myself to believe first, few tips from the stories told by my friends made this to be a logical conclusion) This is the theory I believed for long time.

First time hearings on Masturbation

Myself and few other friends went to a common friend's home to play. We went to terrace and started chatting. When one guy said, "Guys. Listen to me, Important matter. One bro nearby my house told me.... !!! When you shake your Kunju (Penis in Tamil) vigorously for like 30 minutes something white will come out of it."

Other friend, "dai naaye, nalla oru full bottle water kudi, automaticca you will get Urine in sometime" (Dog, Drink one full bottle water and you will get Urine automatically)

The Enlightened: "Loose I am not talking about Urine. But something else, some sort of liquid."

Others, "Cut your crap".

As for myself, I never engage in such talks and I believed it not moral and I might go to hell !!!

But the curiosity in me is taking over me. I want to know more, get more knowledge on all this things, wanted to experiment myself first.

My First Masturbation (in Vain)

I dont even know the term Masturbation nor the Tamil equivalent of it. But I wanted to experiment and find if what the Enlightened told is true. But I was thinking If its right to try out such experiments? what if its wrong? Am I supposed to touch down there for reasons other than Urinating and washing during bath? What if Mom or dad found out? What If my friends came to know about this? Sooo much questions? But I know I can execute this plan without anyone'e knowledge and I promised myself that I will do this just once, just for the sake of experiment.

One fine day, I go to Toilet when no one is in home, takes out my Jhonny from my trousers and started shaking it. But then a doubt arises, Should I do up/down or sideways. DAMN !!! The enlightened friend didnt told about that and it didnt strike me before. Not a problem. Let me try in all ways. But as time goes, the curiosity level goes down and fear and guilty factors rise. I remember him say 30 minutes. But not even 10 minutes passed, I got so tense and stopped the experiment as I was so frightened and also could see nothing happening.

But I was not disappointed, as I concluded that my friend is not Enlightened and the mistake is on me for believing him and did an insanely EVIL, SINFUL, stupid act.


PS: As its obvious for me that I have enough content to write 10 posts on this topic, I am stopping here. Will continue in upcoming posts.

Old Content Posted first on (8/12/2013)

At the start of this year, I wrote few posts on the so called Indian Culture. In the same spirit, I also had much to share on few things, which is considered Taboo in my country, but which plays a vital role in the life of people of my age.

But I had absolutely zero guts to write on it. Still I don't feel confident on writing this. Thats why this  empty post with the RIGHT TITLE.

Hope I will get enough courage soon, to write on this topic :-) :D