A Lonely Masturbator - Stayfree - Part 4

For other posts in the series, visit here.

Curious as always

I understand almost every advertisements in see on TV, except for this one, STAY FREE!
A white pad, people pour some liquid into it and it absorbs everything, ok fine. But what's the point, where do I use it? what is it for? I remember asking about this to mom years back. I got a reply from her in a very sharp tone, "It's none of your business. Forget it". As always, when something is hidden from me, that kindles more interest. But I don't know whom to ask for. It remained a open question for years. Remember, those are the times when we are not aware of the almighty Google.

Back in school, friends started speaking, exploring into all stuffs. I wanted to initiate this `stayfree` doubt, but thankfully someone else did it. As always there will be one or two enlightened souls in every group, who had already explored the topic and give gyaan to others.

This was the explanation given to us by the `enlightened soul`:
As boys shake up and release their liquids, girls can't do it for the obvious reason, which is they don't have the stick in their underwear. But instead without doing anything, they automatically get the liquids released. Worst thing is, they can't control it and it can happen anytime, even when they are in school. So they place the spongy pad in the appropriate place to absorb the liquid. It's for convenience.
Wow, things make sense now. I am now happy that a long awaited question is now closed :) Though this question is closed, it opened up several other `pervy` questions :P

Couple more Attempts

But irritation now! Its obvious that people is getting this new ability to shake up and shoot the liquids, and feel awesome. And girls are getting it automatically and there are advertisements to support them and motivate them. But I can't! When I tried last time, I failed :-(

It feels good when touching down there, holding and rubbing it. I do it when alone in home :D But shaking it up, I know somehow that doing this is a Sin. You are only supposed to pee with your penis and not play. A long thought process with the inner voice goes like this:
`Ok Sai. Listen to me. I agree that it is a sin. but you know what? It's about your capability. It's whether you can do it or not? It's whether you can shoot out the liquid or not? You make attempts, gain the ability and then it's completely your control. You don't do it afterwards. And trust me, no one is gonna know you tried or you even won. You still remain a good boy.`
Ok. Sounds like a risk free challenge. I go to toilet and shake up, shake up and shake up. It feels soooo good :-) But nothing's happening. Depressing :-(

Telling to myself, "Oh Please! Its a penis and it has a purpose, which is to urinate. It's not goddamn water gun to shoot out some weird liquids when you shake it. You can't fight aliens with it!"

But still, with a hope, continues the attempt after few more days. And one fine day, the miracle happened. Precum. Yeeeaaaahhhhhhh! I done it at last :) (y) But wait, friends told, it will shoot up like from a syringe. But how come it will shoot up, only with 2 or 3 drops! Maybe, I am low on the loads. But that's ok, at least I am getting few drops now, unlike before. (Those are the times when I dont know the different between precum and a real shot)

Whatever, I won the challenge and I should stop doing this now.

Big brothers

Since I was caught red handed while looking at xxx book, I was very embarrassed to even look at my big bros. I am trying my level best to avoid all sorts of contacts with them. But one day, I happen to cross them in a veranda to go home, can't avoid the situation. I was very tensed and afraid, what they will ask about the incident and such. One bro told, 'Hi Sai, getting busy lately?' and we conversed for some few minutes very casually as if nothing happened.

I was totally happy and relieved that they didn't question about the last incident. Then slowly I started conversing with them like before. I promised myself I should never ever think about that book again.

As time passed, the interest towards the book overthrew my fear. Whenever I go to their room, the temptation to look at the book keeps growing. But the fear factor was keeping me under control. Deep inside, I know this is wrong, but I can't resist anymore. I wanna see. Dot.

It's clear that the good part of me was losing most of the internal battles. The temptation is growing each day.

Right moment!

One day, I went to their room. No one was there and I found the book on the shelf :D Wooooow :) The temptation to see the beauty, the urge to see the curves, the compulsion to see the breasts, took complete control over me and made me do a insane thing of my life.

I took the book and RAAAAANNNNN TO my home, Ultimate :) It's mine, it's all mine now :) I stole the Holy Grail for myself. Yeahhhhhhh!