What is true Love? 022 Realization and Acceptance

25th May 2011, Wednesday


List of Episodes @ Index


Two days passed, with loads and loads of internal thoughts and hard questions. Sai is evading his own questions for he is not able to face it. For a minute, Lets see whats going on in his mind.


Super Ego: "I just have only one questions and expect an honest answer here. Why you worry so much about her?"


Ego: "Its just compassion for a fellow human, who is in misery"


"Well said, Ego. I agree with it. But both you and I knows compassion is not the only reason and there is something more to it."


"Mr. SuperEgo. Please I need to focus on work here. Lets think about all this in evening."


"Boss, You already skipped two days like this. Lets think and conclude now itself. I can understand Hosana is our friend and we are all worried about her. But is this just a compassion for a suffering friend. Do you actually cry on seeing your friend suffering? ", says Super Ego.


Ego says "HELL!!!! I can't take it anymore. ok fine. Here you go. I LOVE HER and I believe it my LOVE FOR HER that makes me so worried and depressed."


Super Ego, "Ha.. Here comes the truth. Knowing her circumstances, DO YOU THINK ITS `RIGHT` FOR YOU TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HER ???"


"Please Super Ego. Don't kill me with your questions. I am getting paid and have obligations to do my work here. Please let me focus on work. We will definitely think on this and sort it out today evening"


Heavy struggle in Saiyasodharan's mind. He wants to speak to her sometimes, but want to resist his feeling sometimes. No messages was being exchanged for past two days, though he dies to get an update from her. He couldn't resist any longer and texts, "Hi Hosana. How you doing? How are the wounds? Better?"


No replies!!!


He is to attend a Wedding Reception of his College Mate, Karthikeyan's sister in evening. But he cancels the plans and roams around the street of Saidapet, letting his personalities to think on the issue in hand.


Id, "Here is my thought. I LOVE HOSANA and I WANT HER. I repeat I LOVE HOSANA. Woow!! Spelling that name itself, gives me chills :-)"


Super Ego, "Curse you and your feelings. Your thoughts are highly corrupt and I won't allow this at any cost. I really didn't expect this from you Sai. I was thinking you as a guy, who is morally, ethically above an average man in many cases. I had such a big self pride. But you broke them all, with your cheap thoughts. Hosana among other trusts you so much Boss. But YOU WANT her, huh? BULLSHIT. What a complete crap you have become."


Ego, "ok ok. Enough. I agree with Super Ego. This is completely wrong, immoral and crap."


Id, “Ego, just think about her. Are you going to resist her? Fine. But I am worried about her health. You can just text her and ask how her health is. Will you pleaseeee.... ???”


Super Ego, “No way. This texting aint happening without my approval. As a friend, I will even allow you to call and talk for hours. But with this creepy thoughts in mind, you shouldn’t. You should completely move away from her at all costs.”

As above, Mr. Ego is being crushed by Id, Super Ego inside and practical difficulties outside. But its very obvious what the intention is, what the real feel is !!!